Sunday, September 28, 2008

But Why Not?

I think something is wrong with me.... we've been married for 5 months, we live on an island, we have no steady source of income and..... I want a baby. I know how crazy this sounds but for the last few months, I have had what some might call 'baby fever'. We DEFINITELY cannot have children right now--I want Jason to be around more, we want to be able to provide financially for our family, and we need to be back in the states. I know all the reasons why now is not a good time to start adding to our family, but that just makes the situation worse. I know we are young and we have so much more of our lives ahead of us (God willing) and everything changes when a baby is born (no spur of the moment trips, less sleep, less money, etc) but I still have something inside of me that wants to be a mother. Just because I know now is not the time, doesn't mean that I can just stop wanting to start a family.
We have talked about the 'baby fever' issue many times and we've finally decided that we will start a family at the end of Jason's clinicals--which is about 2 years. We want to raise a child up in a stable home where the baby's needs can be met. I dream of decorating a nursery, picking out an outfit to bring the baby home in, first words, birthday parties, Father's Day/Mother's Day, and all the other things that come with being a parent. Right now, I will just have to keep reminding myself of how much better things will be for the baby and for our family if we are just patient! Look out though in two years--we're going be some AMAZING parents!!


camillestuartbeau said...

One day, Ash, it will happen, and you'll be a mommy! Can't wait for little Baby Conway!

Tom, Laura & Ella said...

I don't want to sound "preachy" or pushy or anything, but a bit of advice: having a baby is NEVER, EVER, convenient. And you are NEVER, EVER really ready for it. I don't blame you for wanting to be in the States, but 2 years is a really long time to wait... :) Maybe I just realize how happy my baby makes me....I just want to spread the joy!! :) You can come babysit Ella anytime you want, though. She is cute :)

KathRSmith said...

I agree with Laura. I would never want to actually give birth on the island eeeeeeeeek!, but if you wait for a time when its convenient you will be retired ;)With our hubbies being doctors there will never be a time when they are really "home" all the time. Sadly residency will probably be worse hours then medical school when they are working 80 hours a week and will be actually making less as residents than the loans we have now :( (Luke and I have talked about this with extensively the second one). I want to have our second one during residency but I know it will be harder, bc now I at least see Luke for Lunch and Dinner and weekends, when he is pulling all nighters at the hospital who knows how much he will be home...and babies don't cost too much...teenagers do!! :) You will know when you are ready, but if you have any doubts wait b/c although I wouldn't change a thing, my world rotates around my beautiful princess and not around anything else. You can come play with Lilly if you want to scratch that baby itch any time;)